Why I Became a Teacher..

I've been wanting to blog for awhile about why I made the choice to become a teacher. It was a very deliberate decision after years of not believing I could do the schooling. I am so grateful I made that choice six years ago to pursue teaching. It hasn't always been easy but so worth it. 

I made the decision when I graduated with my Associates in 2010. Looking at those students walking in their black gowns, the decision was made-I will wear a black gown one day. Although I wasn't able to start school until the Fall of 2012, many factors contributed to my decision.

First, my sixth grade teacher. I don't remember her name but I remember some simple words she said to me all those years ago. I began my sixth grade year hanging out with the wrong friends. I grew up way too much my sixth grade year. In making these choices, my schooling was not a priority, just my friends. At they end of the year I needed to ask my teacher why I had a D. I knew why I had the D but my mom had told me I needed to figure out why. I remember asking her. Her face immediately got that sigh, the one I have done several times in teaching. She told me I deserved the D because I didn't put in any effort.  She then told me a valuable thought I never forgot, "You need to be careful of the friends  you choose because they are not making you better. Chose only that make you become your better self." I remember making a change that summer and then into Junior High. I did not want to disappoint this teacher. I knew I could be better. Not to say I didn't make disappointing choices again but I definitely learned I was in control of who I was to become.

The most important reason for why I became a teacher comes from my past. Ten years of abuse doesn't just go away. Though I thought it did. I thought it was no big deal. As I worked in daycare for seven years I learned I would do anything for kids. I would love them and take care of them the way they deserved because I never knew if they were being loved at home. People have told me I have always been different with children. It's because I needed someone to be different with me. I needed to feel loved everyday. I needed to feel like I was more. Although my mom told me other people played into my self worth and unfortunately an abusers talk can make even the kindest words you hear become a lie. Kids so badly need to be loved.  More than they need to learn how to write a five paragraph essay, more than the Algerian theorem, more than some state test. More than anything every child needs to know that they are deeply cared for. Someone wants them to succeed and cheer them on. 

No one really knew I was abused until I posted less than I year ago. No one suspected that someone that did okay for themselves lived a rough and shattered childhood. I still suffer and fight everyday but at least I can hope that I let one child know they were loved without questions. That I believed in them. You never know what someone is going through. That you could be the one person that made them get through all the bad or changed their life by some simple words. Now I am making the transition to being home. It is a hard decision. I struggle everyday wondering if I can teach Porter what I taught my kids for years. I became a teacher because I know I would want my child loved deeply if he was gone from me daily. Every child in this world should know they are loved. Beyond measure, beyond reason, beyond any thing they could do to disappoint. Every child deserves to hear daily they are worth it. That's my contribution to a better world. What's yours? 

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