My Change to a Positive Life!

My life in the past couple weeks has taken a whole new turn. I have been attending a Happy Mentoring class and still have group counseling weekly. In my group we are reading Daring Greatly together by Brené Brown (amazing book if anyone would like to learn how to become Shame Resilient). In Happy class we are learning how to change our lives to be more positive and to attract positive into our lives. I have literally been shocked by the changes. 

1. I am happy- like really happy. 
2. I know how to handle when I am not happy.
3. I've created a deeper connection with my Heavenly Father. 

All in a matter of weeks. I can't believe the difference I've seen. Let me give you one example;

The last month of school had been... well quite literally March Madness. My kids as school are ready for spring break- I am ready for spring break. It has been a constant struggle to get them motivated, paying attention, and being kind to each other. I've been hearing a lot about the power of affirmations (the action or process of affirming something or being affirmed.) or declarations (an I am... statement). I thought I would try it with my class yesterday. I simply wrote on the board "My class speaks kind words to each other!" I read it to the class and talked to them about what it meant to have an affirmation. I knew that it would happen and I needed their help to make it truth. Then they did! The first great day we had in a long time! I tried it again today, "My class follows directions quickly and cares for others." They have DONE IT! I literally had to walk out of the class and walk back in to check that I was in the right room. I've had moments where I wanted to cry today. They were so engaged, so loving, and so happy! Just by writing and believing it will happen! 

I've seen this in a ton of things. I read my affirmations, out loud, every morning. It's happening. I have lost weight that I haven't been able to lose in months. I go to work with a smile. I am more attentive with Porter. I am happier in my relationships. I can feel the spirit and am following promptings. I am happy!

Do I have unhappy moments? Absolutely. Instead of shutting down, I feel my way through. I write about it, talk about it, and pray about it. I even, heaven forbid, cry about it. It feels amazing to let out the negative and to fill myself with happiness. 

One simple change has changed so much for me. I am excited to see where else I will be going. I know that my Father in Heaven is guiding me on a journey I have needed for a lifetime. He has placed things in my path recently that have made it all happen. I was prompted to write about my changes yesterday morning. I am supposed to share my journey. Was I supposed to share it for you? 

Can't Face the Blog

I have to be honest. When I am struggling I hate to blog. I hate letting everyone know I struggle. I hate to write about it. It makes it feel like it's almost more true. Like if I put the words on a blog then everything I'm holding in is actually happening. So inspite of my hate... It's time to write. 

This past month has probably been one of the hardest I've had. I've been challenged in every way I've ever know. I pulled up some of the worst memories of more abuse. My husband had an emergency surgery. We bought our first home. My son figured out how to climb and run to the street. 

If I could find one word for this month it would be... Overwhelming. I packed my house up by myself. I'm unpacking my house by myself. My life is ruled by a mini-human and my amazing husband still struggles with basic things. I've have been beyond challenged this past month. All with a smile. 

I've learned a lot about myself in this time. I've learned exactly how I shut off and how to turn to my husband like never before. I don't know a life without his support. I've realized the more open I am to people I can be safe with, the better I feel. 

Yes my life is hard right now. No I won't have a toddler forever. Jaren will get back to full strength. With no doubt I can say I have seen the hand of God and angels to lift and support me. Real Angels and people who have been Angels to me. I'm grateful I'm here to write another blog. State a bit of truth. And understand a whole lot better.