The past month has flown by for me. It's been rough for me to find the balance of staying home, teaching preschool and a unit home school group, as well as tutoring and watching kids. It's been a tough struggle for me to still apply all that I've learned and feel content. I'm learning that this is my season...
I've been listening to the book The Power of I Am, which I highly recommend. He talks about being grateful for the season you are in. You will always be stuck or struggle in a season until you are grateful or you'll have a hard time when the "When time" comes. When I lose thirty pounds I'll..., When I buy that new house..., When I get pregnant. I am usually grateful but not content. I always feel like I have a million things on my list and never time to play. Sound familiar?
My amazing friend Kathy, who is a wonderful mentor if you are looking for some help, talked to me about my generational belief that I can't stop. I can't stop moving. I can't stop being busy. I can't stop there is too much to do. That's because I am scheduling too much and I am making it difficult.
When you take time to relax and plan in small portions things actually begin to fit better. So many people tell me I am doing too much or ask how I get the energy. I still have the energy but I am realizing if I take an hour out of my day to read what I want to read I actually have more time later. Making time for myself needs to be a priority.
So the last couple days I have been working on it. I sat on the couch and read what I wanted. I watched a few vlogs I wanted to watch. I took time to breath and pace myself. I quit trying to keep the house clean when after nap the kids would be up again and started taking that time for me. I looked at my list and quit adding to it and thought, what is the most important things I need to do today. I also realized having kids around makes some chores take 10 times as long so I quit trying to do them when kids were awake. Why take 45 minutes when you can take 10 minutes. More time gained to my own time. I also realized my blog was part of this. I felt like it was something I enjoyed doing but I cut it out for the more "important things."
If this sounds like something you do you can stop it. You can get a hold of it. You can slow down. Pray. Ask for Heavenly Fathers help about how to change you old ways and create new ones. I am learning that these simple things you can ask for help on and he will send help. That is how I got a relationship with my son that I thought was impossible. That is how I lost so much weight these past couple weeks. (I will write more on these later, maybe even a vlog?) All I needed to do was ask for help beyond my own. I wrote myself a new story for how I wanted things to go and started looking outside of the box I was trapped in. I asked friends what to do when I am struggling with a specific things. Friends can be the best help because more than likely they have been there. My life has changed so much when I quit relying on myself and turned to the Lord. He has all the answers and he loves you. I believe it and know it. I have seen miracles happen. Even simple ones like changing a diaper, running out of wipes and finding a new container next to me all of a sudden. We are meant to live with joy.