My Choice to be Home

I've put off writing for a long time. Last month was a low for me. All I felt was anxiety and stress. It took me forever to find the problem. Porter. I hated that his first birthday was fast approaching and I wasn't there. I hated that he spent his days with other people. Not that they aren't amazing to him but they aren't me.

 

As Christmas break came and I final figured out why I was in a state of panic, I was finally able to tune into what I needed to do. For me and my family I needed to be home. This thought seemed like a foreign concept to me. My mom had to work growing up. It was all I knew. It terrifies me. As soon as I told Jaren I'm not going back next year, I felt at peace. I had been playing with the idea the last month and as soon as it left my lips I knew I had made the right choice. 

Still knowing I made the right choice gives me anxiety. I decided to start a preschool in my home for the next year to help balance my part of the finances. Some of my favorite years were spent teaching preschool. How can I do it though? We would need a new house? Items? Kids? 

I don't know how it will work out. All I know is that it will. I've had so many people say I won't regret it. I know that is true. I have worries but not one single doubt. I won't miss a year again.